Always, Uncovering more…

Let’s move slowly; why must we rush? It’s all really here and now, and as that’s true let’s enjoy the process.

I received Yopo the other night; Yopo is a DMT containing snuff that creates an ayahuasca-like experience that is shorter and much more intense.

It was a relaxed evening and my intentions were for acceptance, clarity, and inspiration. Yet I drew the cards “pain” and “internal voice.”

I did not experience sudden downloads and clear messages. The sensation and energy was so overwhelming. I was able to sit up for a 15 min or so and spent the rest of the night collapsing onto the ground and purging, and spinning in circles in between. Afterwards I received some clear messages and was able to rest a bit.

It just so happened this ceremony I was waiting for popped up right after I spent the night before also sleepless. Perhaps it would have been “better” to wait though it seems perfect. I spent the entire next day in bed totally miserable.

Today I woke up and finally back to a relatively normal state… I was grateful.

My cuarandero told me my work was in forgiving my father. Really, more of that?

There is such a common distortion in forgiveness that makes it so we forget, or don’t look so much into those details of what wasn’t so nice in our past.

So instead I looked deeper. And the pattern of pain is in believing my innate preferences could be incorrect. I did some surgery on my solar plexus to remove all traces of such an idea. And instead I come to embrace every nuance of myself and what I am drawn to without trying to understand or change.

After this medicine, I wish to take it slow. I don’t feel like doing so much. I wish to be with myself. I don’t really care so much for these big groups and gatherings, though I’m happy to offer my own healings.

Awakening is to KNOW THYSELF.

And not all parts of the journey are easy. Those parts that requires the deepest investigation and greatest sensitivity are often the most rewarding.

We’ve done so much numbing to adjust to a way of life that is clearly unnatural.

Every stage of awakening brings a “de-numbing,” only as much as we can handle to make a new choice with empowerment.

Humans approach life in such a strange way. We grow the most through breaking from the way that things “should be done” and really asking ourselves that if we listened fully to our own uniqueness, how would we live and how would we express ourselves?