Saturn Turning ~ Life Transitions

I began traveling as a lifestyle 6 years ago in December of 2012, with semi-annual roots in Guatemala nourishing me and tugging at me from afar. Mostly I’ve gone around the world and visited and made temporary homes in 16 countries and 14 states. When I planned to leave everything behind my plan was to go to spiritual gatherings to bring in the new 5D age of earth with people around the world, and shaman from Mexico and across Latin America, and then through Central America to Peru to learn about shamanism and plant medicine. My intention was to break from this cloud of darkness around me that seemed to consume so much of the world I knew in Pennsylvania. I knew something else was possible, and knowing that potentiality gave me strength to make the scariest decision ever, to seemingly abandon all sense of safety and face the total unknown. It was not easy, yet the challenge was worth liberating myself from a deep, heavy depressive energy.

I never made it to Peru. I found great solace in Guatemala and I met a shaman who told me to stay, I had lot of work to do in the magical mystery school that moved into the Mayan village of San Marcos la Laguna. I traveled and returned and then felt the call to join my then-beloved across the Atlantic to his homeland and to travel across Europe. I stayed just a bit south from where I am today in Belgium. Amsterdam was a place that filled me with wonder then. Today while it’s still a very exciting place it’s mostly a place where some great friends congregate and I have nice connections. The conscious social vortexes are wonderful to visit are and the vibration of the Netherlands is comparatively high frequency so it’s a wonderful place to be!

Yet the awe and wonder that once accompanied being off in a distant land has sort of faded.

In the same way that years ago I felt a heaviness motivating me for a change, now I face a similar point in a cycle… the necessary growing pains that indicate it’s time for a shift.

I feel so chronically fatigued it’s incredible. it’s a tiredness that comes from never truly having my own space and spaciousness, my own nest. It’s funny when I read or just sense envy coming from my posts on social media regarding my choice to travel, because I as well experience envy… Envy of feeling quite deeply rooted. I have started longing quite deeply for my own place to create from, to rest in, to be myself, to set my own rules fully, and to have a wondrous haven that provides continuous clarity and safety.

The growing awareness that it is time for a shift has been an intense process for me over the past year.

The times that I tried to create a stable home or root myself to a particular place there were dramatic interruptions/eruptions. There were quite some wondrous symbols of my unconscious mind totally sabotaging and dis-empowering my conscious self’s intentions to create “home.”

As a Starseed I share in a collective feeling that is one of “not feeling at home” on earth in general. This feeling is there to motivate us Starseeds to create the Home we know from Source connection and or remembrance of/connection to parallel-dimensional incarnations where we are living such smoother, better, more loving and free lives with vast psychic capabilities and wondrous technologies and a deep connection with nature.

In order for my contributions to our new enlightened earth to anchor themsElves into reality, I myself must be grounded. I experience grounding only through time in nature and with my body through yoga yet I have yet to create that grounding in a home. Now that I see the potential that creating a home has tor greater self-care and well-being, more free creative expression, deep and resonant community bonds that grow over time, and blissness and abundance, I’m beginning to envision that life and I’m also feeling the gap… the shadow of constantly traveling and always bustling about.

I have to bring myself to focus on the light and remember the wonderful aspects that I’ve gained allowing the wind and my hearts compass to guide me around the world for 6 years. I remember when I met my former partner and heard his amazing journeys across the sea on a sailboat through many exotic places in Europe and South America. I fell in love with him and in love with the wind that would blow my sails across the world (and of course, Ik “wind” is is Mayan sign). In many ways he taught me how to let myself flow with the wind and navigate the challenges and I came to be able to do it on my own and found an incredible flow. Joy and wonder, the desire to explore and learn, to make connections and spread love carried me along the way to spread many activations and learn many lessons.

It was in Amsterdam I made the decision years ago to go to India… And wow, the journey that followed was the most challenging, beyond my mental/emotional/physical limits yet one of the most profound lessons ever.

And now four years later I’m here in Amsterdam again now choosing to plan the future of grounding myself. While I am imagining and feeling and planning the future of grounding and creating a home for myself here and now, I am as well feeling the strong call in my heart to seal this chapter of my life of journeying all around the world in perfectly with completing my initial mission.

This winter I am planing to go to Peru, and to go feeling grounded and secure and prepared. The heart’s desires are so powerful and important to and settle now before experiencing my only remaining deep longing for exploration and freedom would feel quite incomplete. I just bought my ticket to land in Cuzco and I feel very complete knowing that while I intend to truly plant new roots without letting the wind blow me around this spring, I finally get to live my initial dream that was part of my vision when I began traveling 6 years ago. I first flew to Mexico December 1 2012, and December 2 of 2018 six years later, I make it to Peru, where I said I was going way back then.

I am excited for this journey yet sometimes I feel concern for these upcoming months in Europe, wondering if it would be better for me to cut this trip shorter because I really long to feel at home. In this moment I’m feeling to keep committed to the breadth of it, in honoring fully this chapter of my life that is coming to a close to open a new beginning. I’m feeling ready to keep celebrating the magic that’s come with choosing a nomadic lifestyle, living from place to place feeling flexible with time and location and open to wondrous possibilities.
Traveling has brought me so many gifts of unique experiences in every chapter.. At this moment of time to wander through Europe as a magical visitor I have to remember the gifts I’ve received over these years.

Gift #1: A deep sense of connection to a global TRIBE!

Every place and land has its own unique spirit and every soul everywhere is even more unique and special… I’ve come to experience that there is truly no place I’ve been where there is not genuine love, wonder, and beauty. I would not want to settle in every place. And really very few of the places I’ve been have felt resonant enough for me to wish to make home. Yet every place has brought a sense of wonder and shown me how to connect with all sorts of people in equally deep ways and I’ve met so many people around the world who all have a place in my heart and to remember this always brings me to see the big picture. I feel connected to a true web of light that stretches around the glove and It brings me great trust in Humanity and in the Ascension Timelines we’ve chosen.

Gift #2: Incredible Adaptability and Non-Judgment (Gift/Lesson Fusion!)
People and situations are so different. Traveling can be intense and bring very unexpected challenges, such as losing all your things in a sudden theft while landing in intense new places, discovering you’ve had chronic parasites and healing them for months, moving to a new home on a volcano just days before it erupts. These are all very unfortunate things yet they’ve all taught me my greatest power to heal… And also my great power to manifest unconscious patterns of quite cosmic magnitudes! I’ve really learned that I create everything I can experience, and that I can only consciously create in cooperation with these more hidden/higher vibration levels of myself with very deep presence.

Many quickly changing situations as well as intense moments has brought me to be able to find the positive in the worst of moments and how to remain present

Adaptability also comes from really being able to sync in and connect with such a wide variety of people and find the truth and the love that is truly universal.

Whatever happens wherever I am I come to realize everything is really going to be OK, I can build strong loving connections with anyone regardless if our beliefs are the same, and there is good to be found in everything that happens. It’s brought me to truly, truly flow.

Gift #3: Freedom

To never know what may be coming next, to know and use the ability to totally change everything suddenly, and to structure life in a way to truly allow my heart’s desires to be honored has brought incredible freedom.

I’ve learned I’m free to live anyway I want, I’m free to create any sort of reality I want… To feel my creative power in knowing I can choose anything has brought me to feel from the system, free from the manipulation of others, free form draining energies.


Yet then that’s perhaps where the shadow also lies. As a child I never felt free yet I always knew I was very intelligent and very capable. As a child I only found freedom in other realities, first through video games, then through the internet, and in way, traveling has been the ultimate escape into another reality.

I feel so alien to other humans. Beyond being a Starseed (I mean I’m clearly aware I’m also an alien and am making a living through helping others discover their alien powers), something of this constant movement has made it feel hard for me to understand the lives of most people, as most of us operate form a stable base and live with routines and consisten communities.

The freedom in being a true global citizen has been compensated by never truly having my own place. It’s been wonderful to be adaptable yet it’s also come with not having an entirely solid sense of who I am as my present-reality circumstances in so many different places begin to influence me in so many ways. Yet it can only be gift in discovering that my personality is not something so static and fixed, while I am always the same me my personality can shift so profoundly under different influences and it’s been very interesting to play with that.

I’ll hold onto the power to play with that while soon remaining very grounded, to have deep roots and a safe haven to create a more lasting sense of home, familiarity, community… It’s the truest gift of self-love I can imagine.

I’m more than a bit tired these days yet I am charged with bliss and gratitude. This life I’ve experienced over these years has been incredible. It’s brought the most powerful and rapid lessons, and such incredible quantum leaps and growth. I’ve become an entirely different person more times than I can count. And paradoxically I’ve always, always remained my sElf, the same sEfl, same soul, same essential bieng.

I would say that travel has brought me a deeper spirituality, yet the most of my psychic development, self-care, deep inner-work and discovery came from immersing myself in conscious community and committing to staying and connecting with that conscious bright tribe. Spiritually I have learned more in San Marcos than anywhere, though I learned even more than I learned in Guatemalan gaining knowledge and experience and healing very deep layers through embodying that and teaching what I’ve learned to others. I would not have been able to let my healing, teaching and now channeling carry me through the world without the gates I unlocked in San Marcos, and in that sense the Lake has always truly held me wherever I’ve been.

I have to find a new spiritual home because basically Guatemala is just not gay enough and I’m fed up. Otherwise it’s totally hOme. That statement is just what human me thinks, because my Higher Self totally knows there’s a bigger reason for me to make a real home elsewhere that will only become clear when I’m there.

In terms of self-care and multi-dimensional expansion it’s always better to be grounded. These wonderful lessons and experiences and connections have been great and such important parts of my path and I know my soul is to do work (also from afar) to all of the lands I’ve walked and new ones I’ve never been. And it’s also thoroughly time to experience a settled home. I know the deep connection and balance will flourish in incredible ways from being home and all the creative energy and inspiration generated over these years will bloom, blossom, and flourish! I can’t wait! Yet I can, because first it’s time to make the trip I thought I set out on six years ago, which means another 5-6 months of moving all about… And in this time I’m now choosing more than ever to embrace…

To embrace mysElf! To embrace how great it is I’ve chosen this journey and the gifts it has brought me.

To embrace all of the beloved friends I’ve made and meet and continue to meet new, to embrace the wonders of meeting so many interesting and diverse people and activating a true web of light around the globe!

It’s time to embrace the unknown, letting it be fun to not know the details of the future beyond each weekend and let life be a dance

I’m here to embrace all of the pleasure this life holds to connect, witness, and explore… To be truly free in mind, heart, and body.

I’m here to embrace the power of PRESENCE. In realizing it’s time to ground I stopped feeling fully present. I went into lack consciousness about having a home, having roots, having stability, having space, having the opportunity for full self-care. With real long-term planning and visioning I feel at ease in coming more fully back to myself to allow the rest of this rabbit hole journey to be filled with just as much wonder and enthusiasm for the sheer magic it truly truly is.

I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned is how to..

Gift #4:The Power to Embody the Courage to FULLY SAY YES TO EVERY DREAM!

Fully say yes to showing up for the magic. Fully say yes to trust.

I can actually see how this has brought me the greatest spiritually through giving me the lesson time and time again of

Have trust and faith in the path and surrender attachment to outcomes while doing everything possible to make it brilliant… What I’ve been able to create is immense and beautiful beyond what I imagined when I began. To share healing, ceremonies, gifts, and celebration around the world… Whew, if I believed in luck I’d say I’m lucky. What I truly believe is I saw what I desire and I aligned with it. I aligned with a flow of grace and the sharing of wisdom and joy. I never gave up when challenged yet rested when I needed to. I listened to my body, heart, and mind, and allowed them to cooperate and chose to let the path unfold.

Just because one wanders, does not mean one is lost.

I began lost, found mysElf and kept wandering.

It’s only natural. Saturn returns hits me in like 15 months or so. I’m ready to ground in this epic chapter of life while embracing all its wonder, magic, and also its absurdity.. It’s been seriously Kundalooney.

And as I land I know all of that ecstatic flowing joy will come together to create a great and powerful integration, the best gifts I’ve received from the Universe, and the best gifts I’ve ever given back to humanity, the earth, and to the stars.

With Love, and Infinite Blissings to Us All

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